Dear Jackasses in Caniac's Clothing,

SHUT! THE HELL! UP!

"Wah wah wah, boo hoo hoo, Josef Vasicek only made $385,000 the last time he played in the NHL! We're cheating him, boo hoo hoo! Rutherford's lowballing him, boo hoo hoo!"

"WTF are you talking about?" I say. "That's his rookie contract you're whining about."

"He deserves a million dollars a year! We're rogering him! Rutherford's going to be cheap and let him walk rather than pay him!"

Let me say again:

THAT'S HIS ROOKIE CONTRACT, DIPSHIT!

HellFREAKINGlo, people! Josef Vasicek is NOT getting freaking lowballed! That 385K/year IS HIS ROOKIE CONTRACT. After the year he had pre-lockout and the year he had in the Czech Extraliga/IHWC? I would say that he's earned a significant raise.

Good lord, people--that's like all the doofi that are whining and pissing and moaning because Hockey Jack (Hurricanes prospect Jack Johnson--as opposed to the singer of the same name (who I shall refer to in this space as Guitar Jack)) has decided to go to UMich for at least one year. As the Defenseman's Advocate, I feel I should respond to this.

In a nutshell, defensemen take longer to mature into their positions (on average) than forwards do. We're talking several years--the only position that takes longer is goaltender. The people that are thinking that Hockey Jack will be Scott Stevens, Jr. as an 18-year old are pretty sorely mistaken. The best thing for him right now is to go to UMich this season and continue to develop as a player--and the final decision about whether or not Hockey Jack is ready to take the next step belongs to Hockey Jack and not some clownboat n00b from Nash County that thinks he knows more about hockey than everyone else because he took an Adult Learn To Play class at the Icehouse in Cary one weekend.

Sheesh.