Martini Glasses and Chalices

In my travels through the message boards of the Caniac Nation (est. 1997), I always find rather large knots of idiocy populated by people that piss and whine when the Hurricanes aren't in the running for the President's Trophy.


My question is always: Why?


Why care so much about the President's Trophy? It's not the Cup. Don't you people care about the Stanley Cup? Who cares if they win the President's Trophy? It means nothing at all if you get bounced in the playoffs--just ask the 1986 Oilers, the 2001 Blues, or the 2003 Senators. I would much rather the Hurricanes focus on themselves and what they're doing, and work on getting somewhere once the postseason arrives. Who cares about what happens out West? That will attend to itself, and there is nothing the Hurricanes or their fans can do to change it.

If the Hurricanes win the President's Trophy, so be it. If not, then who gives a damn? Are you people really so stupid and shallow that you'll be lighting yourselves on fire and flinging yourselves off the top of the RBC Center if the Hurricanes are second overall in the NHL come April?

Go stand over there in the corner with all the State fans that want Herb Sendek's head on a pike because the Wolfpack lost in the ACC Tournament and the Carolina fans that piss and whine when the Heels lose to Duke in the regular season--Gods only know you're about as smart as they are.

(I don't even believe I just used a college ball reference)

I want the Cup. Period. I don't give a damn about magazine covers, power rankings (though Scott Cullen is STILL a toolbag--and a patronizing one at that), newspaper coverage, a stupid-looking martini glass, or even Hairy freaking Gelrose.

I. Want. The. Cup. That is all I care about, and if you're too gods-damned stupid to figure out what's more important then I don't know what more to say.