10 May, 2006

And speaking of bush frickin' league....

It seems that a group of moronic Devils fans (led by some cerebrally-challenged dysenteric amoeba who calls himself CaptainLou and whose only retort to the much smarter Canes fans on XM yesterday was "Three Cups") has decided that they're going to chuck a bunch of beach balls at the Hurricanes bench before Game 3 tonight.

To quote a post from a Devils message board:

At East Rutherford: Cloudy. High 63F. Winds NE at 5 to 10 mph.

Inside CAA: Raining Beach Balls

Follow these instructions so we will NOT have problems

1. Do not understimate the NJSEA CAA security. If they see you with a beach ball, deflated or not, they will take it away immediately.

2. Do not show off your beach balls and enter the arena calmly and sit in your section. Try to arrive at the CAA doors by 6:15 PM

3. With 4 min remaining before the game starts, start inflating your beach ball and do this discretely

4. Hide them under your seats.

5. Try to spot Section 218 or 228(located in the upper bowls and in the corners). Wait for their them to give the "signal" to release the beach balls into the wild CAA crowd.

6. When the lights turn off for pregame introductions, get your beach balls ready and look for the red light signal from 218 to launch them.

7. When you see the red light in 218 flash FIRE AWAY. If you don't have an overhanging structure in your section, hit the beach ball as high as gravity can take it. If you do have this structure, the best bet is to hit the beach ball straight out into the open. After you are done with your beach ball, start chanting Lets Go Devils.

8. Please cooperate and make this a team effort. Fans inthe 100's section, try to hit the beach balls over the glass into the carolina bench or the tunnel. Please be careful and use common sense. Do not use these beach balls to hit someone on purpose. Also DO NOT do this during the game, only in pregame. We do not want to get a delay of game penalty. This is our time to shine in front of the whole world. And the Guiness World Record people will be taking notes.

On another Devils board*, fans are talking about scribbling all kinds of wonderful things on the balls before sending them in flight--cracks about Erik Cole, taking potshots about Steve Chiasson, and various other forms of stupidity.

Wow, talk about your class. If any Caniac tried that at the RBC, I guarantee you that there'd be at least five or six people in his section all over him saying "What the hell is wrong with you, foolio?!" and turning him over to the securebots for a stern talking-to.

And the Devils themselves aren't much better--at least in the case of Marty "sister in-law-boner" Brodeur, who is already throwing his teammates under the bus. Oh, let the excusemaking begin!

Don't EVEN get me started on the drooling fangrrls and fanbois in various places that are all upset because some "unworthy" Southern team is poised to knock off the New Jersey Devils. I got your "unworthy" right here, you ign'ant assbaguettes.


Go Canes.

*:board names hidden to prevent the asshats from getting traffic. Puck 'em, Go Canes.

edit 8 Sept 2006: Dear Devils Fans: The blog has moved, and I only saw your comments because somebody was "kind" enough to mail me about them. If you want to show your ass for the world to see, go to http://acidqueen.projectremains.com/ and blather there. Have a nice day, chumps.