04 June, 2006

Sunday ruminations, Narn edition.

Of all the people that the Edmonton Sun had to talk to at the N&O, it had to be Ned "I don't know nothin' 'bout watchin' no hockey" Barnett. Edmonton fans, you will more than likely see this guy's columns in the Sun during the Finals. HE DOES NOT, I repeat DOES NOT REPRESENT THE CAROLINA HURRICANES FANBASE--so please don't assume that his sad excuses for columns are in any way an accurate reflection of what the fans think. We don't like him much down here either, though he does have his fans (who barrack for UNC's basketball team).

By the way, in case you visitors haven't figured it out by now I'm quite fond of using movie quotes and various arcane references that have to do with history, my hobbies, favorite TV shows, and other bits of randomness. If you feel that you absolutely have to take every one of my posts 100% seriously, please go elsewhere because this is not the blog for you.

A comment was made at The Battle of Alberta about my Tour Guide that said that Canadian visitors don't need their passport to buy alcohol. Specifically, the comment was "and yes you can get drinks with proper id (passport NOT required)". I took the liberty of asking an agent from North Carolina Alcohol Law Enforcement about this, and was specifically told that if you are from out of the country and do not have a US-issued driver's license, you WILL need your passport--and that any clerk that takes a foreign driver's license for an age-restricted sale is risking a whole whack of trouble.

Since the ALE's agents will be out and about in the Triangle during the Finals (as they were during the previous round), please take it from somebody whose job requires her to be well-educated about the state's alcohol and tobacco sales laws: have your passport with you, and if you're the only one in the group who is over 21 please leave your friends in the car while you make the purchase. If you all come in together, we'll have to card you all.

Oh yeah--and please don't try using a fake or altered ID, because there's a good chance it'll get confiscated.

If you drive by one of the only three convenience stores that'll be open within a mile of the RBC Center in a late-night quest for beer and see the clerk out having a smoke, stop and say hi (cos it'll pry be me). Long as you don't act like a dumbass, I won't ash on you.

Somebody actually didn't understand the concept of the tailgate party? You gotta be kidding me.

I quote:

Concerning #6, where I come from, tailgating is following closely behind a vehicle. Why would I need a trash bag and try to join others "tailgating?"

I have to admit, it was hard for me to come up with a non-snarky answer for this one, especially when you consider that Helpful Hint Number Seven made it pretty clear what "tailgating" is in the context of a sporting event. I mean, all the *other* Leafs fans that came down four years ago understood it pretty clearly--so what the hell was up with that?

Whatever.

If the 'Canes win this series on the road (and I have faith that my team will find some way to win), I'm going to be at the airport for an all-night vigil...and I will not leave until I see the Cup. If the airport cops don't like it, they can bite me arse.

I envy those of you who will be at the Finals games in Raleigh. If I had $300 (which, btw, is over a week's wages for me), you betcherass I'd be there in one of the SRO sections. Cheer extra loud for me, fellow Caniacs--and please sing BOTH anthems loud enough to either drown out Holly Wilver or force her to stay on-key and on-meter (I apologize in advance for her, Edmonton fans--she really is 'orrible).

Flames fans: Is McCarty signed for one year, or for two?

I will confess that I look forward to the day when we have cleansed the hockey universe of the haters and carved their bones into little flutes for Caniac children. It is a dream I have. - G'Cane

(And if you STILL don't spot the reference in that last quote after the edit I made, STOP READING THIS BLOG NOW because it's painfully obvious that you Just Don't Get It.)