A very irregular Friday Five

1) BRISTOL SUCKS!

I wish that they HAD gone under back when Howard Baldwin yanked the Whalers' TV contract--then we wouldn't hear "the former Hartford Whalers" and "the Hartford/Carolina franchise" and whatever else every time they talk about the Hurricanes on Sportscenter. They don't call the Avs "the former Quebec Nordiques". They don't call the Stars "the former Minnesota North Stars". They don't call Calgary's team "the former Atlanta Flames". And they sure as fuck don't call the Coyotes "the former Winnipeg Jets".

So what the hell gives? Oh wait, that's right--The Worldwide Leader In Shit is just doing what they've been doing for well over 24 years now (that being bashing the 'Canes), because they all suck. Especially Stu Scott, because nobody gives a rat's ass which hoops players or footballers went to UNC--except, of course, for him.

Go Navy.

2) The people that whined (and, in the case of one idiot on a message board I read, are STILL whining) about Ron Francis Night being on a Saturday against Atlanta need to siddown and STFU. Mr. Francis was consulted on which night he'd prefer, you freakin' morons--so kwitcherbellyachin' and just go to the friggin' game. Sheesh.

3) Get-well wishes to Christy, proprietress of Behind the Jersey.

4) The Carolina Hurricanes now have as many wins at this point in the season as they had in all of 2001-2002. Screw justice--I want a Cup.

5) WTF Thrashers? They're plummeting down my list, with all the goonery. With guys like Hossa and Kovalchuk, they shouldn't have to play dirty--that's the province of the Philthadelphia Flyers and Washington Crapitals.

And that's your Friday Five.