An Open Letter to the fans in Vancouver

Dear Vancouver fans,

I had the pleasure of visiting your lovely town back in January of 2003, when I went to take in a Canucks game at GM Place--you may have seen me there with my Malik jersey on, or heard me yell "Give 'em Hell, Harry!" when the puck dropped. Vancouver is a very lovely city, and the folks I met were very friendly, very welcoming, and just plain nice. Even the bums were polite! I loved my trip and look forward to visiting again--hopefully in June, for the Draft.

But I'm not writing this to wax poetic about the fun I had in Vancouver three years ago.

I'm writing it because I did not and do not like what I have seen from you fine folks during the WJCs--specifically, booing and jeering and basically being assy toward the American team every chance you got, even when they WEREN'T playing Team Canada. You want to be mad at Jack Johnson, fine. I understand completely, and I'm not all that happy with his little stunt either.

But come on, folks. There's no need to bring signs saying "U SUCK USA", chanting "USA SUCKS", "GO AWAY USA" and basically treating the visitors from south of 49 like crap. There's no excuse for it. If the fans in Grand Forks had treated the Canadians that way last year, I know damn good and well that all y'all would have been up in arms over it and screaming and crying about the "classless American fans" and calling for another burning of the White House (don't think we've forgotten about 1812).

Well guess what--you guys are being classless Canadian fans, and giving a black eye to your fellow Canadians. Don't give me a load of shit about rivalry and patriotism and whatever other excuse you think justifies your horrible conduct--if it's not cool for us south of the border to boo the Canadian team, then it's just as uncool for all y'all north of the border to boo the American team. You can't have it both ways, and don't even try to justify your assy behaviour to me because I'm not hearing it. Wrong is wrong, classless is classless, and you folks need to just knock it the hell off.

Sincerely,

An upset American fan

(I know, I said to let it go a couple days ago. But it's just gotten so ridiculous now that I just couldn't let it go.)

Somebody gimme a shotglass.

The question, however, is "whose head do I bounce it off of?"


Do I bounce it off the head of Jack Johnson, for his ill-considered, ill-timed, and just plain stupid (not to mention cheap) elbow to the head of Steve Downie last night?

Or do I chain-bounce it off the heads of the Canadian fans that are crying that JJ's elbow was "so very American"?

Decisions, decisions.

Look, people--all y'all are being stupid about this. The elbow was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It should have netted Johnson a suspension. The coaches at UMich should take the boy aside when he gets back there and have a looooong chat with him about how he has to keep that temper of his in check.

You can't excuse it if you're a Team USA fan, you shouldn't have done it if you're Jack Johnson, and you can't throw stones if you're a Team Canada fan given a certain controversial choice that the national team made for Turin.

So all y'all, just shut the hell up about it. Oh yeah, and Happy New Year.