03 December, 2005


Carnival of the NHL #14 went up, and I almost missed it—shows you how much I pay attention when I'm not busy busting the chops of high-schoolers for trying to buy beer and smokes with fake IDs. Please, try to convince the daughter of a US Navy lifer with a Purple Heart that you served on BB-39 while you're wearing an “Athens Drive Class of 2006” t-shirt and reek of Eau de Clearasil. I dare you.

History-geek points to anyone who know what ship had that designation. Go Navy!


The Serene Master of Malik-fu has done it again, scoring his first regulation game-winner as a Ranger in a 2-1 win over the Pittsburgh Penguins at Madison Square Garden. Too bad it wasn't from “Harry's Corner” (the left-side corner behind his own goal line). That would have made it even cooler, in my opinion. Can't speak for the rest of the Caniac Nation (est. 1997), but I and the rest of the Cult of the Sub-Holy Defenseman miss you, big guy.

As much as I do like the Nashville Predators (and I like them a lot), and as much as I loathe the Detroit Red Wings (and I hate them with every fibre of my being), I must question the wisdom of allowing the game to start with a 1-0 score, yet be played from the very start. To me, that just doesn't seem right to start from the beginning rather than from where play halted on that horrible night. However, since both teams were consulted and have agreed to it, then I'll accept it.

In other news, the Boston Bruins have officially lost their minds. I look at the Thornton trade as just another reprieve for Mike Sullivan, who has reached a Paul Maurice 02-03 level of futility in trying to get his players to listen to him. Bar Fight Joe has been unfairly (IMO) pilloried in the Bahstan media (particularly by the Boston Globe, who has always kissed the lily-white asses of Bruins manglement) for the sins of management and even the coaches who babied him when they should have pulled a John Tortorella and gotten tough with him. In the wake of the trade, Globe columnist Kevin Paul Dupont was practically jizzing himself over having somehow moved the heavens and the earth to get what he called a “disinterested, disconsolate” player traded out of town. For my part, I think that Bar Fight should never have been given the C before he was mature enough as a player to handle it.

I predict that Sullivan's next move once the post-trade euphoria wears off and the Bruins start getting pwned again on a regular basis will be to skate his players until Craig MacDonald collapses.

Thank you, I'll be here all season.

30 November, 2005

Pointless news

commenting and trackback have been added to this blog, so now I can see who's linking to me (like the paranoid old battleaxe that I am).

Of course, it also zorched all my old comments, so....

David Frost, Waste of Skin and Air

The CBC's wonderful program The Fifth Estate will be covering the sad saga of Mike Jefferdanton and David Frost tonight at 9 Eastern. Hopefully they'll put the video online so that those of us in the States who don't get the Ceeb will be able to watch it.

My one big question is this:

Why in the Nine Hells is David Frost still being allowed by the NHLPA to represent players?

This whole saga is sad and twisted—possibly more twisted than the Graham James saga (which was plenty sad and twisted in its own right). The CBC's Bob McKeown (host of The Fifth Estate) made the comment that the beyond-bizarre relationship between Frost and his client is “...like a cross between an Elmore Leonard novel and a Coen brothers movie.

That's very true, but I think there's a dash of Tarantino and a sprinkling of Fellini in there, too.

Why, Ted Saskin? Why do you still have this sick, disgusting, abusive piece of crap certified as an agent even after all this new information about his low character and sick paranoia has come out? What will it take for him to finally have his cert yanked? I'd love to know, seriously.

For that matter, given his antics in the Ontario junior leagues, why the hell was he even given a cert in the first place? Oh wait, that's right—he coached Bully Bob Goodenow's son. That cert should never have been given in the first place. This is a guy who's established himself as a con artist and a world-class wankstain, and yet he's not only given an agent's cert by the NHLPA, but he's STILL allowed to sink his hooks into young players by parents who just want to see their sons make it to the NHL.

It makes me sick, just sick.

EDIT: The video is up online here: http://www.cbc.ca/fifth/rogueagent/index.html -- Click on the little videocam on the right-hand side of the page to watch this bizarre-ass story.

29 November, 2005

Hail, Sub-Holy Master!

I was so beat on Saturday night that when I got home from work, I just went right to bed.

Oh, what I missed.

I swear, I must be like the only person on the whole planet who was NOT surprised by Marek Malik's shootout-winner the other night. I just laugh whenever I watch that highlight, because it's just so him. I've been watching the guy for years, kids—I've known for ages that he's capable of pulling some crazy move out of thin air at any moment. It's just the way he is.

Of course, not everyone thinks it's so great.
Kelly Hrudey, obviously bitter that the Leafs have sucked on toast in shootouts so far (or bitter that a Leaf didn't score like that in a shootout--take your pick), has decided that he's going to keep whining on the Ceeb (until somebody decides to take the goal away, apparently) that the Serene Master's goal shouldn't have counted because he looped the puck back around his left ankle before shooting it over Kolzig's shoulder.

The bug that Hrudey has up his ass is the following clause from NHL Rule 30a (Penalty Shots):

The puck must be kept in motion towards the opponent's goal line and once it is shot, the play shall be considered complete.

The argument presented is that the puck must always maintain forward motion, and that by bringing it back a bit, His Serenity negated that and the shot should not have counted.


I think that it's time for what I like to call "Physics for Whiny Ex-goalies". Let's say that I am on a cruise ship that is sailing toward the Cayman Islands. I am running as fast as I can toward the stern of the ship. The ship is still moving toward the Cayman Islands, even though I'm running astern. It doesn't matter that I'm technically running AWAY from the Cayman Islands—I am still on the ship, the ship is in control of me, therefore I am moving toward the Cayman Islands whether I want to be or not. The only way for me to NOT be moving toward the Cayman Islands would be to jump overboard.

By the same token, the only way for that shot not to have counted would be if Malik had lost control of the puck. If that had happened, THEN and ONLY then would the rule have applied. Since the Serene Master was still in control of the puck and still moving toward the goal, the puck was still moving toward the goal (i.e. forward) and therefore the shot counts.

Memo to Kelly Hrudey: The laws of physics say “Sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and stop trying to play rules-lawyer because you suck even more at that than you did as a goalie!”

Just sayin'.