01 October, 2005

Odds and Sods

Odds and Sods

As I pretty much expected (and many predicted), people are bitching about the new MyNHL ad campaign—if it’s not the scantily-clad little puckbunny bimbette (who I learned to roll my eyes at and tune out pretty quickly), it’s the fact that the player is an actor and not really one of the current crop of NHL players.

First, the bimbo—WHATEVER. Perhaps it’s the fact that I don’t watch a lot of TV (unless hockey, PBS, Le Tour de Flance, or Sci-Fi Friday is involved), but I don’t see what the big deal is. I also don’t see why the hells Martha Burk has to get involved with her “wah wah, the NHL is demeaning women!” crap. I had some sympathy with her getting bent outta shape with the Augusta National not allowing female membership, but I have zero sympathy for her here. By the same token, I really don’t think that a “spiritual mentor” would go wandering around dressed like a Sunset Boulevard call girl, either—but she’s completely unimportant to me, so I just ignore her.

And as for the bloke—OK, I’ll admit that the League dropped the ball here, UNLESS the “customized” ads (myHurricanes, myPredators, myRangers, etc) are going to have players from that team. Which would be neat. They could always green screen ‘em in somehow. They can re-film it, they have the technology. Instead of using the bloke from the AXE body spray commercials, it’d be kinda cool to have like Darren McCarty/Rod Brind’amour/Vinny Lecavalier/whoever as the bloke in the dojo instead—then it would really feel individualized for each team.

Mmmm…Darren McCarty… *thud*

I don’t see what’s so bad about it, in the grand scheme of things. I figured that a lot of the hardcore fans would piss and bitch and whine and moan about the ad campaign, but then it’s not meant for us. It’s meant for the newbies, to get them interested. I think it’ll work better than people think it will, in the long run.

In other news, LA’s little psycho freakshow Sean Avery needs to shut his bigoted fucking piehole. If it’s not his “contraction is OK if it means we’ll get rid of all the Euros” comment during the lockout, it’s his latest piece of stupidity in the wake of Denis Gauthier’s hit on Jeremy Roenick:

"I think it was typical of most French guys in our league with a visor on, running around and playing tough and not back anything up."

Excuse me, mister “I ran like the little bitch-ass punk that I am from Ian Laperriere when he tried to make me answer for my stupidity a couple days after I said that”? Pot and kettle, anyone? And I don’t buy that boilerplate “I apologize if I offended anyone” non-apology, either. “I apologize if I offended anyone” is just a polite way of saying “hello, I’m an unrepentant asshat who’s trying to cover his ass in a way that the less-intelligent members of the human race will accept!”

And the visor comment is stupid—I’m sorry, what’s cowardly about wanting to protect your eyesight? Perhaps we should do away with pads and gloves and helmets, too. Sheesh—I can see why Rachel Hunter dumped his ass.

29 September, 2005

Am I the only one...

Who is pissed off about the network TV schedule for this NHL season? It can't be just me.

I fail to see that it's any different than Bristol's old TV schedule--the same five fucking teams, shown over and over and over again. The DEFENDING STANLEY CUP CHAMPION TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING slighted because they 1) had the bollocks to beat the Comcast's favorite team in the Eastern Conference finals and 2) are playing the Hurricanes. Small-market teams given short shrift again because they're not "marketable" (i.e. they're not one of the five that were Favored of Bristol and now Favored (but not as much as the Flyers) of Comcast).

Gee, the more things change.....

Screw you, Comcast and OLN. Screw you for pandering to the lowest common denominator and being lazy. Screw you for falling back on what's easy rather than actually putting in some work to market some of the smaller-market teams that have players that are exciting to watch. I couldn't give two shits about Peter Forsberg, Joe Sakic, Jaromir Jagr, Sidney frickin' Crosby, or Brendan fucking Shanahan--I'd rather watch Eric Staal, Rostislav Klesla, Marian Gaborik, Jarome Iginla, and (if Don Waddell gets off his ass and signs him) Ilya Kovalchuk. Screw you, Comcast AND NBC AND the NHL, for showing such blatant favoritism. If you've got a thirty team goddamn league, then give all damn thirty teams equal frickin' time. The only reason the Hurricanes and the Predators and the Smoking Jackets and the Kings and the Ducks and the Stars and the Lightning and the Flames and the Sens and the Oilers and the rest of the teams that are buggered by this schedule don't get any ratings IS BECAUSE YOU IDJITS DON'T BLOODY SHOW THEM! And when they DO get shown, the bias of the announcers toward whatever "marquee" team they're playing is so disgusting that I can't even watch more than half an hour of it.

I'm not willing to settle for just having the NHL on TV--to hell with that, and to hell with the people telling me to just suck it up and be happy with what I've got because it's better than nothing. I don't have that time for the "we'll take what we can get and be happy about it" mentality.

I'd rather have nothing at all, if the alternative is more of the same old fellating of the same old five or six teams.

25 September, 2005

OK, this is getting old.

People, leave Luke DeCock the hell alone already.

"Wah wah wah, the N&O is biased against the Hurricanes! Boo hoo hoo, Luke DeCock hates the Hurricanes! Waaaaah, we don't have any coverage!"


I'm sick and tired of people expecting nothing but blind homerism from their local press, just sick of it. I'm sick of people bashing Luke DeCock because he has the unmitigated gall to wield the Reality Bat. I have to laugh when I read a post on a message board from some idiot with like four teeth in his whole head (and half as many braincells) calling the N&O's chief 'Canes correspondent "Luke Cock" and thinking that he's somehow clever for saying that. Hello, did we just finish grade school? I also have to laugh at the people that get their panties in a wad whenever I say:

"If all you want is blind homerism, then you might be better off being a Bruins fan--then you can read the Boston Globe, which is all about fellating the Bruins."

For example, one mental giant said the following to me:

You have repeatedly considered it your prerogative to order other fans to vacate the premises and follow another team. It isn't, and they shouldn't.

Have we failed reading comprehension? Perhaps we're just a little oversensitive. All I did was make a suggestion--not an order. If it bothers you, then perhaps it's because I struck a nerve.


Yes, I agree that Luke can be harsh. Yes, I agree that he can overdo the snark at times. But he's Not. That. Bad. And everyone needs to Get. Over. Themselves.